What to do When You Regret Moving or Regret Not Moving Home

Regret: to feel sorry or unhappy about something you did or were unable to do. A wish that something could have been different and better.

It is easy to look back in hindsight and have regrets about decisions you have made, ‘I should have moved’, ‘I should have stayed’, ‘if only’.

The regret of moving home is a common one, but equally so is the regret of not moving home when you had the chance.

Ultimately we have to make decisions based on the information we have at that time, on our circumstances, on the pros and cons at that exact time.

However, decisions are not always irreversible, the damage is not permanent, nor is your road through life set in stone.

You have the ability to change your mind, to reassess your circumstances, to move in a different direction.

In this week’s home moving blog, we look at what to do when you regret your home moving decision and more importantly how to not look with regret but with optimism.

What Percentage of People Regret Moving Home?

Is it normal to regret moving home?

According to research by Aviva in June 2021, published on www.thisismoney.co.uk, nearly half of all home movers regretted their decision to move in one way or another.

The reasons for most people’s regret were either paying far too much for a property or discovering problems with the home or area after they had moved.

Many people seem to have been caught up in the frenzy of feeling that they must move home and now are realising that the move was a mistake.

Although your home represents a huge investment and moving home is far more expensive than people realise, often it is not the monetary aspect that people immediately regret.

Often it is that the home has not fulfilled that emotional need, or that the area is not as good as they hoped, or that they regret moving away from family and friends.

The Aviva survey found that 29% regretted moving to a certain area and that 25% regretted moving away from friends and family.

As a wise person once said: act in haste, repent at leisure.

Will I Regret Moving Home?

If you are thinking of moving home you can take steps to prevent going down the path of regret.

Often people regret their home move having decided too hastily or making the decision based on romantic notions of how a home move will solve all their problems.

Moving home is a huge financial and emotional commitment so take your time to consider all your options.

Consider what you may regret about the move as well as all the advantages of moving to a new home.

These are some of the biggest home-moving regrets that people face:

#1 Regretting Leaving the City

Living in the city is convenient. Everything is on your doorstep, there are shops open 24 hours a day, there is a variety of entertainment and leisure activities, and the city has energy.

If you choose to move to the coast or countryside you will almost certainly experience some form of cultural shock, life will be totally different and if you have not prepared yourself mentally for such a drastic change in lifestyle you may easily come to regret moving out of the city.

You may also like to read: How to Deal with Culture Shock – Moving from the city to the coast, from Manchester to the Highlands of Scotland, or from Brighton to Bala, you will likely suffer from some form of culture shock. In this guide, we show you how to prevent culture shock, how to recognise the signs of culture shock, and how to deal with culture shock so that you can get on with living your new life in your new home.

#2 Regretting a Cross-Country Move

Moving to another part of the country poses big challenges for someone moving home.

There are often cultural differences, a new accent to get used to, new slang words, maybe different supermarket chains, and even a different pace of life.

Moving to some regions of the country will seem like you have moved to an entirely different continent and will take lots of time to adjust to.

You might like to read: How to Deal With Relocation Depression in which we look at the symptoms and remedies of relocation depression.

#3 Regret Moving for a Job

Very few jobs are for life and unless this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity then moving for a job can often end in regret.

You may uproot your whole life just to discover that the job was not what you thought, that you cannot settle into your new workplace, that you have issues with work colleagues or that the salary increase does not cover the high cost of living in that area.

You may like to read: How to Decide Where to Relocate for a Job in which we help you decide the best places to move for a job and if it is really worth moving for work.

#4 Regret Moving Away From Family and Friends

It is often the people around us that make a place a home.

The support of family and friends, the companionship and the emotional support they provide can be more important to us than we realise.

Moving away from friends and families can leave a huge void in our lives leading to extreme loneliness and regret.

You may also like: How to Make Friends in a New Neighbourhood in which we offer some tips on how to make new friends and build a new social circle in an area you have just moved to.

#5 Regret Moving for Love

This can be the cause of many people’s regret.

Often the pressure of moving home, adapting to a new place as well as trying to adapt to living with someone for the first time often ends in the breakdown of the relationship.

You then find yourself in a place that you would not necessarily choose to live, with no support network, and memories of a broken relationship everywhere you look.

#6 Regret Moving Out of Parent’s Home

Whilst the desire to lead your own life, live by your rules and get out into the world is strong, without proper planning you could soon find yourself heading back home.

You may also like to read: How to Move Out of Your Parents Home. In this guide, we look at how to decide it is time to move out, to how to tell your parents you are moving out, budgeting and practical moving tips, this is an invaluable guide for first-time movers.

#7 Regret Moving Out of Old House

This is often one of the biggest regrets, leaving a home you love.

Your emotional attachment to your old home is strong, it holds lots of memories for you, and letting go can be hard.

You may also like to read: Help – I Can’t Settle in My New Home! In this guide, we offer lots of practical advice to make settling into your new home easier and quicker.

#8 Regret Moving to a New House

You may want to move for more space, or to a better area, but more space equals more running costs and a new area takes you away from the comfort and familiarity of your old area.

It takes time to adjust to a new home and area but if you have got your decision wrong then you will regret moving.

You may like to read: How to Make a New Place Feel Like Home in which we offer some tips on how to make your new place feel like yours.

#9 Regret Not Budgeting Properly

It is easy to get caught up in the excitement of wanting to move home and overlook just how expensive moving home is.

It is not just the legal fees, stamp duty, or removal costs, but all the incidental costs that get left off the calculations.

Setting up a new home can be expensive, a tin of paint here, new curtains there, changing the locks, repairing a hole in the garden fence, it all takes money and soon adds up to far more than you envisioned.

You may also like to read: The Hidden Costs of Moving Home in which we highlight some of the costs that you should factor in when moving home.

So when moving home consider all the reasons that you may regret moving.

Then consider all the wonderful advantages of moving home.

Only then will you be able to move home having made a reasoned decision and having the best chance of making it a successful new chapter in your life.

Will I Regret Not Moving Home?

This is the flip side of regretting moving too quickly. You are overcautious and dither for too long over making a decision to move home, then the opportunity is lost.

It is a delicate balance of heart over mind.

It can be too easy to stay in a comfortable place, too easy not to challenge or push yourself, to just bob along in the life you know.

But unless we push ourselves and experience new things, take chances and see where life leads us, then we may look back in a couple of years regretting what could have been, regretting missed opportunities, regretting not living our lives to the fullest.

You may also like to read: The Bright Side of Moving Home. Moving home is a rollercoaster of emotions and we often spend so much time being stressed and worrying that we miss all the great things about moving home. Here we look at what is so great about moving home.

How do you get Over the Regret of Moving Home?

Most feelings of regret about a home move are short-lived when you look at all the benefits of moving to a new place.

It really helps to have a positive mental attitude and to embrace the opportunities that this home move has given you.

Here are 6 Tips for getting over the feeling that you made a big mistake moving home:

#1 Give it Time

If you have recently moved home and are regretting it then it could be just that you need time to adjust to your new life.

There is probably no specific reason to necessarily regret your home move, it is just that you are missing your old home after moving.

You may not fall in love with your new home and life overnight, it will take time and effort.

Don’t try to rush things, everything is unfamiliar, new, unusual, and even unsettling.

#2 Make the Place Feel Like Home

You may feel that you regret your move because the new place just does not feel like home.

Unpack your favourite ornaments, put up some art or pictures, add soft furnishings and place a chair where you can enjoy a view or feel cosy.

Redecorate in your favourite colours and dress the home to your tastes.

Your old home was comfortable, and familiar, whereas the new home is not yet.

Make the place feel like it is yours and the regret of moving will soon vanish.

You may like to read: How to Make Your New Home Feel Relaxing in which we offer some tips on how to make your new home a sanctuary of peace and tranquillity.

#3 Make Memories

Maybe the reason you regret moving is that you have no emotional connection to your new place.

Your old home held memories, it connected people with events and events to people.

You have not had the time yet to forge a bond through memory-making in your new home. Creating new memories takes time, so give it time.

Have dinner parties, make dens with the children, teach the kids to cook in your new kitchen or how to grow vegetables in the garden.

#4 Make Friends

You will probably regret leaving your friends and family behind when you move, it is natural that you miss your support network. Therefore work on building your social circle.

Maybe start a new hobby or join some local classes. Social media is often a good source of information and most places have a Facebook group where you can start to build local contacts.

You may also like to read: How to Make Friends in a New Area. In this guide, we offer some practical tips for creating a new social social and getting out and meeting people in an area you are unfamiliar with.

#5 Get to Know the Area

Missing a favourite café or park could also make you regret your move.

So get out and explore your local area, you will soon find places that you love just as much if not more.

The more you get to know your new area and discover all the great places around you, the sooner you will stop thinking about your old life and build yourself a new one.

#6 Revisit Your Old Home

This helps some people but makes others even more homesick but is nonetheless worth doing.

We often look at the past through rose-tinted glasses, only remembering the good things.

By revisiting your old home you may notice just how small it was, or remember how it had no garden or how close all the neighbours were.

Often the new owners will have redecorated or made changes which will make you realise that the property is not as you remember, that you still have the memories of your home, but it is no longer the home you remember.

It is worth remembering that a home is not a place it is a feeling.

There is every reason to think that your new place in time will be the home you dreamt it would be.

You may also like to read: How to Leave a Home You Love – The emotional attachment we feel for a home can be difficult to break, causing us to regret moving out of it. In this guide, we explore the different ways to detach yourself emotionally from your old home so that you can appreciate your new home and new life without any regrets.

I Moved Home, Hate it, and Want to Move Again

What if you really can’t settle in your new home, if you hate the area you have moved to, the neighbours are awful or the house is just not working for you? Then What?

Firstly, give it time. It is a sentiment that runs all the way through this guide.

Moving home is an emotional melting pot, it is a massive upheaval, it changes every aspect of your life and it takes time to adjust and recover from the emotional rollercoaster you have been riding for the last few months.

For some people, it can take months, even years to get over the regret of moving from their old home.

But there was a reason or perhaps many reasons you chose to move to this area or particular home, focus on those positive aspects, change the things you hate about your new home, and give it a chance.

Apart from the financial losses that you will almost certainly incur, there is the whole traumatic process of selling, buying, and moving to go through again if you really want to move.

Having said that, sometimes there is no option but to put the experience behind you and move on with your life.

If you have really tried to make it work but just can’t, then it is time to sit down and do the math to see if it is possible to move again.

This home move may have made you realise what you really need in a home, the type of area you want to live in, and the people you need or want around you.

Everything we do teaches us something, so learn from this, choose your next home and location very carefully and move on with your life.

Must read: How to Love a Home You Hate – In this guide, we offer lots of practical advice to not only help you love your new home but on how to let go of the old home emotionally, and how to fall out of love with your old home. It may help you overcome the regret you are now feeling.

Two of The Biggest Home-Moving Regrets and How to Avoid Them

Many people’s biggest regret moving home is when the move itself turns into a nightmare and they wish they had spent the time preparing properly.

There are 2 things that you absolutely must do when moving home

#1 Regret Not Decluttering

One of the most important tasks when moving home, one that will save you time and money, is to declutter your home.

That means getting rid of everything that you do not want to take with you to your new home.

The more ruthless you are about this process the more money you will save on your moving costs.

If you are moving home by yourself or hiring a removal company, this is one part of the home moving process that you should never skip.

Must read: How to Declutter for a Home Move in which we go through each step of decluttering your home ready for packing. This can be an emotional process for some and one where others find hard it difficult to let things go, so we offer tips on how to emotionally let go of your possessions as well.

#2 Regret Not Hiring a Good Removal Company

Hiring a good removal company is the key to a stress-free home move, get it right and moving day will be a pleasure, get it wrong and you may live with the regret for years.

A quick look at the reviews of some removal companies will show you how many people regret that they did not thoroughly check out the removal company they hired, or that they just hired the first removal company that they contacted.

You want your new life in your new home to start as uneventfully and as relaxed as possible.

The last thing you need is a stressful home move.

Hiring a good removal company will get your new life off to the best start possible, allowing you to arrive in your new home fresh to face the adventure ahead of you.

The regret of hiring a poor removal company is not only financial but can mean the loss or damage of cherished possessions, as well as the distress of seeing your possessions mistreated.

Time spent choosing a good removal company is priceless and its importance cannot be overemphasised.

Essential reading: The Step-By-Step Guide to Hiring a Good Removal Company walks you through the process of finding the best possible removal firm to help you move. It is essential reading to make your home move as stress-free, cheap, and safe as it can be.

Moving home should be a memorable event, make it memorable for the right reasons.

And finally, we hope the only regret you feel in the future is that you did not move to this home sooner. Good luck.